2:37am

i never understood anxiety. i dont think i ever will. its some weird brain chemistry shit for sure, something that’s entirely out of my control.

like, there’s times where problems seem insurmountable, no matter how much rationalizing or calm-myself-down-plz thoughts i try to materialize.

then, for whatever fucking reason, at times, i see everything trough an optimistic lens. everything can be fixed, worked on, or otherwise coped with.

even dumb shit can be incredibly annoying on pessimistic days. like… am i getting fat? am i getting old? it’s always insecurities like that, getting judged my others. i think humans are very judgemental by nature. it’s not a fault particularly, it’s useful for evolutionary reasons, but… holy shit, SOME PEOPLE judge way too fuckin’ much. i legit try not to because each person is quirky and has their own shit going on.

re: judgementalism, i might NOT say it out loud, but i’m surely thinking about it. i think we all do. don’t judge a book by it’s cover… yeah, right. we always do. some people have more filter than others, but that’s it.

anyways, what im trying to say is… i cant think myself out of certain states of mind. i find that it helps more to do something that has to be with the physical.

going out to a walk, eating something, touching something… whateverr, you get the i dea.