goodbye august

i think a part of me wanted to write something of value for this occasion.

i feel like I’ve slipped into a routine again. which means I’m fairly braindead (under stimulated) and can’t really think of much.

today my cousin was in town so we decided to go eat out at a local restaurant I had never been to. It’s a fairly traditional Italian place so we both got pasta. I had the *tagliatelle with porcini*, it was honestly godlike for 20€

we talked about stuff. dreams, health, our circles, her trips (I don’t travel much), our childhoods. It was a great time, albeit quite short.

ive noticed that its now been a few months since I started this blog.

in my mind it was always supposed to be a personal diary of sorts, a place where I could rant or explore things I don’t normally explore. Writing down things isn’t something I had done before.

I honestly didn’t expect that many people to see it. I don’t run analytics so I don’t exactly know, but I feel it’s more than I bargained for.

so, thank you, the reader, for considering my personal place as something worthy of your time.

i can be very negative and I can rant a lot. I can also be very nostalgic and emotional. the latter is in the moment, the former is in the past. It’s honestly fairly entertaining to go from extreme to extreme, as long as it doesn’t feel too harmful.

i think time is an underrated dimension to think about when you deal with nostalgia. you cannot roll back time. you cannot go back to the way the world used to be in a certain snapshot of time.

the moments you remember so fondly aren’t in a vacuum.

let me think… surprisingly enough, I met my closest friend while playing a game named EVE online. it’s an mmo so it’s a very social experience.

we both quit the game around 4 years ago. we made so many memories with so many other people… because we spent an insane amount of time playing that darned vidya.

recently he suggested playing again. I had completely forgotten about that game. it had been so long that it was but a faint, distant memory.

logging in and stuff, and looking at the game, checking out if other people we knew still played, remembering the old times… I mean, it got me kinda emotional, since it’s just a shitty game.

but I think it fucked me up so much because I was also recalling how I felt at the time as a person, how different I was, where I lived, what my goals were, how carefree I was, how the world was so much safer… (btw I’m talking like 2017-2018)

aaahhh ok I’m cringe, bye.