how i defeated shyness
posted on June 27, 2024
growing up, i was an extremely insecure and shy person. growing up, i’m only insecure (rofl)
one of the main realizations that helped me get rid of that shyness (i can’t really say that it was a good or a bad thing; i guess it just happened) was (1) realizing the transience of life and taking it to HEART and (2) realizing that people, in social settings, sometimes simply want company.
that company you will appreciate much more as you get older and lonelier. when you’re young (e.g. high school) you’ll take it for granted and barely appreciate. i, myself, thought of social interactions as a complete nuisance and avoided them at all costs during high school.
nowadays, i don’t exactly PURSUE social interactions, but i also like to appreciate the little moments i have with my (small) group of friends when we play games every once in a while. it’s the little things.
as for (1), when you’re young, or for even longer for some people, we like to think of ourselves as perennial. it’s actually a scientifically documented fact that most people understand death only as something that happens to other people, especially when they’re young.
internalizing the brevity of life was the main thing that got rid of my shyness. my shyness was related to insecurity and not being up to the task of being able to socialize or appearing outwardly competent. like.. “wow, if i speak up and stutter, they’re gonna think X of me…” which was a self-defeating feedback loop of being insecure AND being more shy, which didn’t help me grow social skills.
if i think that at the end of the day, we’re all humans on this earth, and on 40/50/60 years we won’t be here anymore, all the reservedness explodes away. i want other people to hear what i’m saying; for it will ultimately not matter that much either way. i want other people to acknowledge me for small things that i do; even if they might have a positive or negative reaction; for it will ultimately not matter that much either way.
and, speaking of groups of friends, getting older along them is a… weird experience. different people experience aging in different ways, change their life in unexpected ways, or cope with things in different manners. those can be hard to understand for loose groups of friends like the ones i have (internet friends; the kind that plays games on discord. but with some we’ve know each other for nearly 10 years! that’s a large slice of the pie when you’re only ~30)
home
music stuff
gallery
about
top 37 albums
cool websites
guestbook
git
settings
thank you for your kind words. :)