jun 28 ’24 (jealousy)

posted on June 28, 2024

i’ve always been a seriously jealous person. it only got worse as i transitioned into adulthood and i got exposed to how money works.

as a young and naive person, i had a view of a virtuous world, where people worked and got compensated (roughly) according to the effort they put in.

i don’t think i need to explain too in-depth why the statement above is false, i’ll just axiomatically say it is because it’s pretty apparent. but let’s express what i feel in another manner.

take a single unit of work produced. depending on your country of living, ability to negotiate, interpersonal skills, seniority, etc, it can be practically a dice roll on how much you’ll be compensated. (this is assuming we’re talking about salaried jobs)

or, we can have another form of comparison (a bit more extreme), like for example an influencer working 1 hour a day making a video and getting $$$$$ while a farm labourer doing 8 hours of extremely taxing physical work will make $. obviously this example is EXTREME because i’m comparing the opposites of a spectrum, but it’s still what i think about a lot.

so, yeah, overral i get pretty jealous (and aggressively angry) at people that make WAY more money than me, especially if i (superficially) perceive that (1) they’re doing so without much effort on their part OR (2) the proportion of monetary gains they have compared to effort is wildly superior to the average person.

i used the word superficially because most (if not all) of the time, i’m jealous about people on the internet (e.g. influencers, content creators, etc), which means i’m basically privy to 0 information about their private (or work) lives, which makes my assumption about the effort/monetary gains ratio pretty shallow and inferred.^{(tis a fancy way of saying that i like to make shit up to placate/validate my feelings)}

anyways, yeah, i guess the jealousy i feel is largely irrational, but i can’t avoid but feeling it. after all, i don’t exactly like feeling that way, but it’s just a natural response that i have; sometimes i can rationalize it away, sometimes i literally don’t care. would be better if i didnt have it tho, since it makes a lot of interactions difficult, and it really depresses me sometimes.

could be worse i guess.

anon 2024-06-28 (3:11 pm) No. 123137 reply

So true bestie. Just remember you can't change what thing happen, just how You react to it.
anon 2024-06-28 (4:52 pm) No. 123138 reply

FAX KING!