learning to live
posted on November 27, 2024
bureaucracy in general really makes me anxious. because it’s like a machine that doesn’t really care about you. it’s people enforcing stupid rules, at least most of the time in this country.
i’ve talked a lot about it but i definitely overthink more than average. i know that nowadays that and anxiety are the norm instead of the exception, but i still think im worse than the average person.
anyways, to remedy that, i’ve tried to come up with an easy to remember, effective saying that i could just use as a rule whenever i’m in a really bad overthinking spree.
⠀⠀⠀
if you can’t do anything about it,
don’t worry about it.
⠀⠀
or something to that effect. it does seem to work. especially trying to visualize exactly what issues i can take active action on.
i have long term problems that can’t be solved by just overthinking and having anxiety about it on a daily basis. and doing so only has a negative effect on my life.
also, before i forget.
i’ve also found out that a lot of anxiety is made by lack of agency, or at least “feeling” the lack of agency. taking any decisions lately has been hard…
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E vita intensa
Felicità a momenti
E futuro incerto
Il fuoco e l'acqua
Con certa calma
Serata di vento
E nostra piccola vita
E nostro grande cuore
--- diego
since i'm too young to have an answer, here's a reply to the last part;
i was talking to someone in discord, and i have a nice reply to it;
sometimes, i feel like the world is blank
and that nothing happens
and i kinda just accept it
because when something happens
it's usually noted cuz it's bad
and when i feel good
i stare at those times
and think
"why did i feel like that?"
"crying all night for no reason?"
and realize i've been fine
and that nothing is bad
and that i was just in a bad mood
you know, it feels like i'm staring at them again
and that i'm being my own therapist
or sm like that
but i like to stare at them
cuz then i feel better
and have better self-control
i've had lots of trust issues
and that might be one of the reasons why i have many traumas
cuz, yk, i don't feel good after
and i feel like a sad bag, crying and crying in bed
while having a reflection those of good times with them
heh, i think that's really poetic of me.
hopefully i can talk to u soon!
btw, sorry for ignoring the page for 10 days. i forget about it.
cya!!! ~kiki
also, *of those xx