reroll plz

posted on August 3, 2024

i have a certain person in my life whom i can’t exactly tell to fuck off, which is my mom. due to past trauma and shit she did, i don’t like with her anymore; but i keep in contact for mutually beneficial things, think money related business.

every time i get a call or message from her, i legit get tachycardia. it’s something i can’t quite explain nor avoid, especially since the relationship has been improving during the last year. but, i just do, and i can’t avoid it. i get extremely anxious in a visceral way, which is illogical but still happens and i have to carry that burden.

just today, she sent me a message at 9pm, which is fairly unusual. long story short, i got so anxious that first i dropped a bottle of water on top of my desktop, which… apparently didn’t do much damage. it didnt turn off nor behave weirdly, so i just removed the glass panel and started drying everything up.

now, i was still extremely anxious from my mom reaching out, so… dumb me, i fucking dropped the glass panel of the desktop case and it shattered into a fucking million pieces, which the damn thing still running, because well, brain doesn’t brain correctly while under extreme anxiety and i legit didnt think of shutting it down.

welp, so like an anxious retard i had to clean up not only the interior of the case from the glass shards, but also almost the entire surface of my room. all of this at fucking 9pm – 10pm on what used to be a chill saturday evening. just, fuck my fucking life.

at least it seems the desktop still works fine, i did some benchmarks to check if any of the fans got fucked or if any component got fucked, but it seems not. just my retard luck, i guess. im typing this shitty post on it, and so far it seems it’s a more resilient little shit than me.

ill finish cleaning up the rest of my room, go cry in the shower, and hopefully sleep. i legit wanna be an ostrich.

anon 2024-08-03 (11:27 pm) No. 123181 reply

aw, it must've been horrible to have that experience •~•
myself, I've never been extremely dumb, just super dumb sometimes, and that already felt decently bad. so I imagine that it was horrible.
I hope everything's alright for you and yer brain forgets, but I mean, you already posted it... whatever, I still hope you recover. see ya later!
~kiki
anon 2024-08-04 (12:57 am) No. 123182 reply

>>123181
thank you for your thoughts... it was indeed really, really shitty. usually im super clumsy but not to this degree, i legit just wanted to cry... but hey, i guess we survived. : D
anon 2024-08-04 (9:46 pm) No. 123183 reply

that's always the good (or bad) part, we're still alive no matter what happened nwn
anon 2024-08-05 (8:25 am) No. 123184 reply

hey, came back to tell u so far I like your blog a lot, especially how you say stuff and clarifying a lot!
~kiki <3
anon 2024-08-08 (7:24 pm) No. 123185 reply

>>123184
thanks <3